Christian dating: Yoked and unyoked
BY HUMPHREY MTANDWA
With divorce statistics on the rise both in the church and in the world, one wonders what could be the cause. Apostle Paul speaking to the church in Corinth said believers should not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. To be yoked refers to two oxen that are joined together in order to work together. To be unequally yoked then means these oxen are not of equal strength and when they are unequally yoked, they don’t perform their task well. It is a true statement because what makes a good marriage is the ability to work together towards one goal and most times we conclude that being unequally yoked is when a believer marries an unbeliever. But do you know both people can be believers, but not share the same ideas? Being unequally yoked goes beyond the religious belief lines to individuals’ dreams and desires. Many have married each other because they attended the same church. But you can both be at the same church and both believe in the same doctrines but not matched to be yoked together.
The statistics for divorce are high because people got yoked to people who they were never supposed to be married to. The primary purpose for marriage is to fulfill God’s dream for the two individuals who become yoked together. So, each individual carries the keys required to accomplish this task and when these keys are connected, they birth that thing God envisioned when he created both individuals. So, searching for your partner becomes a search for someone who brings you to a place of your perfection. No wonder when God created Eve, he said a man needed a help mate.
There is a specific help mate for each and every individual. The Bible then says when a man finds a wife, he finds a good thing. A woman adds value to her husband’s life because the Bible says after the husband has found the wife, the Lord gives that individual favour. There is a search because the Bible says that he has found a wife, it’s a search for a person who can help you accomplish your God-given task. Adam was given a help mate after he had discovered his purpose. A man’s search for a wife who can be equally yoked to them is easy when one understands their purpose and God’s desire for them. Many married because they were driven by emotions that they could not see the weakness of their partner and that she or he did not have capacity to be yoked with them. Many cry and say “this is not what he did during courtship and he or she changed when we got married”. But that’s not true, I remember a young lady who got divorced because the husband was abusive and would beat her often. I asked her if she had not read the signs that he was abusive before marriage. Many times, people close their eyes to the signs they see, like when he shouts and almost beat you when you are still in courtship. The period of courtship allows you to study and determine whether you are equally yoked or you share the same dreams; do you have things that complement each other? Don’t ignore the signs or believe someone will change when you are married. Some young women are trapped in marriage because they thought they could change him or he thought he could change her. Marriage is not an experiment, when making a decision to be married pray for foresight and ask God to help you to see beyond the emotional feelings. Don’t be unequally yoked! God bless you.
